Coping with Bullying: Strategies for Parents and Children

Bullying is something no parent wants their child to experience, but it’s unfortunately a common part of growing up for many children. A 2022 study from the Institute of Educational Services showed that 1 out of 5 students (grades 6-12) were bullied the school year prior. Whether it’s name-calling, hurtful online comments, or even physical threats, it’s important to know how one can respond and how parents can support them. Let’s look at why bullying happens, what your child can do in the moment, and how parents can help them feel confident.

Why Bullying Happens
Children bully for a variety of reasons, sometimes to feel powerful, fit in, or distract from their own insecurities. It’s often less about the target of bullying and more about the bully’s need to control a situation or impress others. Understanding this helps one realize that bullying says more about the bully than it does about them.

Responding to Verbal Teasing
When a child is called names or teased, the instinct is often to tell the other person to stop. While that’s a good first step, it doesn’t always work long-term. Bullies often feed off emotional reactions because it gives them the power they’re looking for. It is extremely difficult to repeatedly tell a bully to stop without showing some signs of anger, sadness, or frustration. 

That’s why acting indifferent can be one of the most effective tools. Indifference takes away the payoff of an emotional reaction. While completely ignoring a bully seems like a good strategy to show indifference, silence and completely ignoring bullying comments can sometimes encourage the teasing to continue. The silent treatment still communicates “You are annoying/frustrating me”.  Instead, kids can use short, calm, dismissive responses that show they’re not bothered, such as:

• “Okay, sure.”

• “If you say so.”

• “Cool story.”

• Shrug and walk away.

These “shrug it off” responses communicate, "You don’t get to decide how I feel.” It takes practice to pull this off naturally, so role-playing at home can help.

When Bullying Turns Physical
If there are threats or actual physical harm, that’s a different situation. Children should not try to handle this alone. Physical bullying or threats of harm should be reported to a trusted adult, whether that’s a parent, teacher, school counselor, or principal. Parents can remind their child that reporting isn’t “tattling”; it’s protecting themselves or others.

Dealing with Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can be especially tough because it follows students home. There’s no “off switch” for texts, group chats, or social media. Hurtful messages can spread fast and feel impossible to escape. People often feel more emboldened to say hurtful things when hidden behind the distance and anonymity of a screen.”

In these cases, ignoring often is the best strategy because responding gives the bully more fuel to keep the cycle going. Instead, encourage your child to block or mute the person, leave a group chat, or report the behavior to the platform.

How Parents Can Support Their Kids

• Keep communication open. Make it a habit to check in with your child regularly, not just when something seems wrong. Use open ended questions to ask about their day in a calm, curious, and non-judgmental way so they feel safe sharing both the good and the bad parts. When your child does open up, focus on listening more than fixing right away.

• Practice responses together. Role-play teasing situations so your child feels prepared. Help children have neutral facial expressions. Encourage responses that are short and calm- free of sarcasm or retaliation.

• Know when to step in. Encourage and help your child to document instances of bullying. If bullying becomes persistent or threatening, contact the school or authorities in serious situations.

• Reinforce your child’s strengths. Remind them that being bullied doesn’t define them. Keep reinforcing the message that they deserve kindness, respect, and to feel safe wherever they are. Encourage them to focus on the social support they do have. This steady encouragement from you helps counteract the negative messages they may be hearing from others. 

Bullying can leave lasting emotional impacts, but with the right tools and support, children can learn to protect their confidence and safety. When parents, schools, and peers all work together, we create environments where every child feels seen, valued, and safe.

Thomsen, E., Henderson, M., Moore, A., Price, N., & McGarrah, M. W. (2024). Student reports of bullying: Results from the 2022 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCES 2024‑109rev). U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics. https://nces.ed.gov/pubs2024/2024109rev.pdf (nces.ed.gov)